Saturday Night Live returned with a cold open that took a look at “What Still Works” in America now that we’ve survived the Trump era.
Said McKinnon: “It’s a new year and we have a new president so some things should work. But do they? Our first topic is government and already I have my doubts.”
McKinnon introduced Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Cecily Strong), a congressional supporter of the far-right QAnon conspiracy theory revealed to be a Parkland and Sandy Hook truther who claimed 9/11 was an inside jobbed also supported executing Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton in social media posts.
Said McKinnon: “So Congresswoman Greene… hard to say those words together. What are some of the theories you believe in?”
“How much time you got?” quipped Strong’s Greene.
After Greene shuffled through a list of her beliefs, including that wildfires are caused by lasers from space that identify as Jewish, McKinnon asked, “You represent the U.S.. People can Google you and it’ll say she’s a real member of the US government?”
“That may not be the first thing that comes up, but yeah,” replied Strong’s Greene.
McKinnon’s conclusion: “So government doesn’t work.”
Next up, the stock market, with the new majority shareholderer of game stock, Derek Boner (Pete Davidson).
Said Davidson’s Boner: “First of all, it’s pronounced ‘stonk’ market. I put all my money in GameStop and I can’t lose.”
“So the stark market no longer works,” concluded McKinnon, after schooling Davidson’s Boner about how the stock market is supposed to work.
McKinnon followed up with the CEOs of Twitter and Facebook, Jack Dorsey (Mikey Day) and Mark Zuckerberg (Alex Moffatt). McKinnon asked the business leaders how their banning of prominent conservatives for spreading lies and inciting violence has gone.
Replied Day’s Dorsey: “Not well. It seems to have forced those people onto darker, scarier apps where their delusion and bloodlust can run wild.”
Added Moffatt’s Zuckerberg, giggling wildly: “Fundamentally, Facebook still works. Not only does it help form communities online, it has helped people meet and connect in real life. For example, at the Capitol.”
“While we’re gathering opinions on what works, would you say my chin beard is working?” Day’s Dorsey asked McKinnon.
“It’s working in terms of keeping me a lesbian,” replied McKinnon, who then excused them.
McKinnon then examined the vaccine rollout, welcoming someone who just received it: OJ Simpson ) Kenan Thompson.
“Teachers can’t get vaccines, but you did? People with long term lung conditions can’t get the vaccine, but you did?”
“Yes,” replied Thompson’s OJ.
“So among the 3% of people given the vaccine, was OJ Simpson?” McKinnon asked.
“Guilty as charged,”Thompson’s OJ replied. “About the vaccine.”
“So the vaccine rollout doesn’t work,” McKinnon concluded.
Finally, McKinnon introduced Tom Brady (John Krasinski).
“You still work. You’re supposed to win football games and you just keep winning football games,” McKinnon said. “You might the only thing in America that still works… So I guess everyone must be rooting for you, right?”
“Almost no one,” replied Krasinski’s Brady.
“Well I’ll be rooting for you Tom Brady, because you’re the only goddamn thing this country can still rely on,” said McKinnon. “And it’s not like you’re a weird Trump guy or anything, right?”
“Thanks for having me,” said Krasinski’s Brady.
