Saturday Night Live returned and opened its show mocking Trump lawyer and the dog and pony show he’s been parading around the country at various legislatures to try and overturn the presidential election.
Said Kate McKinnon’s Rudy Giuliani: “This election was stolen from the American people with a level of trickery not seen since Houdini. (farts) That wasn’t me. That was you guys.”
“President Trump and I are going to overturn these illegal votes,” McKinnon’s Giuliani continued. “First in Michigan, then in Georgialvania, then Pennsachusetts, then North-a-Canada.”
Asked to present evidence, McKinnon’s Giuliani muttered “You want evidence? Okay, well, today I brought before you a dozen highly intelligent, barely intoxicated individuals who are all eye witnesses and after hearing their testimony you’re going to say, ‘Wow! Rudy was right and he’s getting smarter and more respected every day (farts again).”
McKinnon’s Giuliani then called Dominion Systems staffer Melissa Carone (Cecily Strong).
Said Strong’s Carone (who went viral earlier this week): “I swear to tell my whole story, and nothing but my story so help me Gob.”
Asked to present what she witnessed, Strong’s Carone replied, “Excuse me, maybe try losing the attitude first. Just like you lost all those Trump ballots.”
Upon further skeptical questioning about what she saw, Strong’s Carone added, “Did you check every poll? Did you talk to all the dead people? Excuse me. I have been threatened. My kids have been threatened. My kids have threatened me, and I’ve threatened them right back. … I’m not lying. I signed an After David.”
McKinnon’s Giuliani then called his next witnesses: ballot-eating-woman Heidi Gardner, My Pillow’s Mike Lindell (Beck Bennett), alien abductee Alex Moffatt, and Nicole Kidman’s character from HBO Max’s hit thriller The Undoing (Chloe Fineman).
Amid the lineup of witnesses, Strong’s Carone returned to fight with the lawmakers again: “Excuse me we are all here under oath. If you want to talk about random. I voted for Trump yet Biden won? Hmmmm. Maybe a little bit too random. You aren’t even going to admit that Dominion cheated.
Asked how they cheated, Strong’s Carone replied, “Well, for starters they cheated me out of my cheesy bread.”
“I think you’re confusing Dominion with Dominos,” said one lawmaker.
“Either way, my vote took longer than 30 minutes so it’s supposed to be free,” replied Strong’s Carone.
Finally two members of the Michigan militia that tried to kidnap Governor Gretchen Whitmer emerged wanting another shot.
“In conclusion,” McKinnon’s Giuliani concluded, “I would say the defense rests, but we will never rest. Not until this election is overturned, or I get a full pardon and $10 million in cash. And if you liked what you saw here today, we’re giving a press conference right after this at the Ritz-Carlton… Plumbing and Heating Supply Company.”
