Alec Baldwin’s Trump and Kate McKinnon’s Rudy Giuliani opened Saturday Night Live‘s 45th Season premiere, which dove straight into the impeachment inquiry as Trump took a series of rapid fire phone calls from his political allies, including William Barr (Aidy Bryant).
Said Baldwin’s Trump: “It’s the greatest presidential harassment of all time. I should know. I’m like the president of harassment.”
McKinnon’s Giuliani, speaking live on CNN, assured him: “Nobody’s going to find out about our illegal side dealings with the Ukraine. Or how we tried to cover up those side dealings. Or how we planned to cover up the cover up.”
Bryant’s Barr told him not to worry, but took a pass on taking the blame: “Where are you going to find a sacrificial patsy that’ll do anything you say? Not it.”
Trump told Barr not to worry, “I’ve got the perfect stooge,” as he called Mike Pence (Beck Bennett), who told him “but you’re the one who broke the law.”
Eric and Don Jr. (Alex Moffat, Mikey Day) interrupted Trump’s call with the VP, and Baldwin’s Trump asked them “Did you take care of that thing in Russia?”
“What thing in Russia?” asked Moffatt’s Eric.
“The treason!” yelled Day’s Don Jr.
Trump then called Kim Jong-un (new permanent cast member Bowen Yang), and asked what to do about the whistleblower: “You have a big ocean in your country? Send whistleblower to the bottom of there.”
Baldwin’s Trump then linked up with his “urbans,” Kanye West (Chris Redd) and Don King (Kenan Thompson).
Said Trump to Kanye: “Kanye, just tell me who you want out of jail this time. A$AP Rocky, or how about that little girl, Teriyaki 69?”
Replied Redd’s Kanye: “I don’t think we can be fam no more fam.”
Added Thompson’s King: “This whole impeachment thing is hurting our brand.”
Jeanine Pirro (Cecily Strong) called in screaming “witch hunt! to reassure her “special beautiful boy.”
A reassured Trump then placed a call to Liev Schreiber.
“Is this Ray Donovan,” Baldwin’s Trump asked, “Ray Donovon the fixer? The guy who takes care of stuff, wink wink.”
“I told you Mr. President, Ray Donovan’s a fictional character,” replied Schreiber.
“If you can’t do it, can you connect me with John Wick?”
