NOT THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS DINNER. Samantha Bee event will be broadcast on Twitter. “The teens who run our social media accounts said we should do this, and honestly, I was about three margaritas in at the time, so I guess it’s happening.” #NotTheWHCD will air April 29 at 10 P.M. on TBS and 11 P.M. ET on Twitter.

UNHAPPY DAYS. Erin Moran’s brother goes off on Scott Baio: “A special shout out to Scott Baio. I already went on Twitter about you. I hope it finds you. You and my lil sis had a very very brief fling. She dumped you. 2 reasons. 1. She told me that you were more like a lil girl and not a man. 2. She told me that you were tiny. Ya know. Barely a man in the man region. True story! Scott, I’d advise you to get on your knees and pray you never run into me.”

20 YEARS LATER. Ellen remembers coming out on TV: “It became more important to me than my career. I suddenly said, ‘Why am I being, you know, ashamed of who I am just to be successful and famous in society’s eyes?’ … And then I thought, the character on the show is clearly struggling. There’s no relationship. It was pretty clear it would be an easy transition for her to realize she was gay, which was why her relationships with men weren’t working out.”

NET NEUTRALITY. FCC Chairman unveils thrashing: “The plan is Mr. Pai’s most forceful action in his race to roll back rules that govern telecommunications, cable and broadcasting companies, which he says are harmful to business. But he is certain to face a contentious battle with the consumers and tech companies that rallied around the existing rules, which are meant to prevent broadband providers like AT&T and Comcast from giving special treatment to any streaming videos, news sites and other content.”

POEFINN. Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy won’t shoot down rumors of gay subplot in upcoming Star Wars film: “Speaking to Spanish-language website Ecartelera, the Lucasfilm boss left the door open to protagonists Finn (played by John Boyega) and Poe (played by Oscar Isaac) falling in love in future films – just not The Last Jedi. “We’ve talked about it, but I think you’re not going to see it in The Last Jedi,” she said.”

MAN KAUR. 101-year-old Indian woman wins 100 meter dash at World Masters Games.

101-year-old Indian woman wins 100 meter dash at World Masters Games in New Zealand as the only competitor in the 100+ age category. pic.twitter.com/P8VYoTW9Bm

— ABC News (@ABC) April 25, 2017

NOM. National Organization for Marriage announces hate march on June 17 in Washington DC: “The March for Marriage is an important event to keep the fight to restore marriage in the public eye. It was in 2015 when the US Supreme Court issued their illegitimate, anti-constitutional ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges imposing gay “marriage” on the nation and unleashing a flood of consequences for the overwhelming majority of Americans who continue to revere marriage as the union of one man and one woman.”

PETS. Dachshund leads pony on a leash.

NAFTA. Trump says he’ll renegotiate it or end it: “President Trump said on Thursday he had agreed to pleas from the leaders of Canada and Mexico not to withdraw immediately from the North American Free Trade Agreement, but he warned he would still pull the United States out if he could not negotiate a better deal.”

JASON CHAFFETZ. Congressman suddenly has medical emergency.