A new study performed by social scientists at San Francisco State University has confirmed something that, had you thought about it for a second, you'd probably have assumed anyway. Turns out, gay dads get just as exhausted as heterosexual parents, and like heterosexual ones, often don't have time or energy for intimacy. From the US News and World Report:
"When gay couples become parents, they become very focused on the kids, they are tired, there is less time for communication and less desire for sex," Colleen Hoff, a professor of sexuality studies at San Francisco State University, said in a university news release. "They go through a lot of the same changes as heterosexual couples who have kids."
… "We found that gay fathers have less time for sex and less emphasis on sexuality, which could mean they are at less risk for HIV," Hoff said. "Many fathers said they feel a sense of responsibility toward their children which motivates them to avoid risky sexual behavior."
The 48 fathers surveyed for the study have reportedly accepted the changes in their sex lives with equanimity.
The study does contain some data that's likely to delight the anti-gay blogosphere. Turns out, gay men with children tend to adhere to the same relational rules'n'regs they followed before having children. That is, if they were monogomous, they tend to remain monogamous, and if they weren't monogamous, they still aren't. From the study's abstract, at the Journal of Couples and Family Psychology:
… couples reported negotiating agreements regarding sex with outside partners that closely resemble those documented in studies of gay couples who are not parents. Men reported that parenthood typically decreased their opportunities to engage in sex with outside partners, but also posed barriers to talking about these behaviors with their partners and health-care providers …
In the US News and World Report, Dr. Hoff explains that the most significant such "barrier" is the stigma associated with being non-monagamous while raising children.
