REPORT: Goldfrapp tapped to record new Bond theme. Source: “Alison and Will are absolutely thrilled. Nothing has been signed yet, but they’re the hot favourites. They’re a slightly cooler choice than you’d expect, but producers are determined to make Casino Royale the edgiest Bond yet to appeal to younger people. To be asked to contribute to the soundtrack is one thing, but to record the title song is on a different scale in terms of prestige. This will take the band to a whole new level.” UPDATE: Mute denies Goldfrapp recording track…

Two Spanish Air Force privates, both named Alberto, to wed this summer: “We know we are in the armed forces and this is touchy because we are not gardeners but rather soldiers. I know there are superior officers who will make life difficult for me, and they are already doing so.” The soldiers were given permission to wear their uniforms during the wedding, but have decided not to do so as it might further antagonize the Spanish military.

Christine Ebersole in Pride parade panic: “The float left without us and we were all running down Fifth Ave, me in my girdle, fishnets, leopard skin swimsuit, and my nun’s habit, holding two loaves of wonderbread…”

Elton to Scissor Sisters: You stay at my house when in London!